The tears of entitlement.

My Father taught me about conscience by explaining that our hearts had a triangle that sat on top. The triangle had sharp edges and whenever we did something morally wrong the triangle would turn slightly, cutting into our heart and we would feel a sharp pain. Thus, we would know when we were doing something wrong. He then explained that he felt that the people who came to this continent had been born without triangles. I was five when he told me this. About one third of the way through the documentary The Way I See It about the photos of presidential photographer Peter Souza, I found myself tearing up and holding back sobs. To me it seemed so clear that the abuse of a Nation for 4 years by a sitting President has taken an enormous toll on us as citizens and individuals. The hate filled posturing, name-calling and overt sadism toward everyone who does not agree with the psychotic behaviors of this President has created a revolving exit door for some of the best minds in government, from every cabinet office to the intelligence agencies and military officers sworn to protect our Nation. We have witnessed the machinations of a man bent on undoing every good thing that we as Americans were coming to terms in resolving discrimination against women, people of color, LGBTQ, immigrants fleeing wars and terror, the poor, the unhealthy, and attacking the education systems of our children who are the future. The land, rivers, oceans, forests and all that dwell there are seen through the psyche of a rapist, a pillager, a destroyer. As Covid 19 unleashes its unseen army of microbes traveling around the globe, I am convinced this president has grasped this as an opportunity for genocide. No need for camps and ovens. Just withhold research funds, deny science, turn the other way and let people die. The media and our obsession with it, whether it is television news, or social media; every minute of his abusive stances, the vile hate-filled words come at us 24/7. It has taken its toll. Some say they “just can’t watch it anymore” and turn away, inwardly hiding. Others say it is just too painful and take it out on themselves with drugs, alcohol, food or simply withdrawing. That is the reality of the non-stop 24 hour news cycle, seven days a week of verbal abuse and hate being thrown in our faces, via screens, radio, podcasts and print media. It has become clear that “we the people” are expendable. Watching Barack Obama, the leader, eloquent, funny, a father, a husband and a caring president. He gave us so many moments to feel happy, to smile, to dance and to shine. He was human, not perfect but so real, so empathetic to the horrors that shook us all, Sandy Hook, and wars. I was struck by how much we laughed and cried together as a Nation. I remember traveling through airports and when Obama was on the screen, people stopped to listen to his calming voice, his thoughtful words. Today you hear people saying, about Trump, “turn him off” or look the other way, shaking their heads, grimacing, and they keep walking. We now have a man who has been called the most corrupt President and historians say that history will not be kind to him. He is not kind, he has no reverence for life and his thin lips never offer a smile or laugh except at cruel jokes, mocking a disabled reporter, calling people demeaning names. And he lies, tells lies about lies, lying even when there is proof. He attacks the press and admits, “they don’t like me”. He beseeches women to “like him” while he uses, sexist and misogynist language that is backfiring on him, and voting will tell that tale. One other thing was clear after watching The Way I See It, no one in Trumps family smiles, they are a First Family that smirks. Their eyes are often tightly held, lids held in disregard to others pain and suffering. They exude no joy, the only thing that makes them happy is money, money and more money. How do we Americans end this onslaught of daily trauma and brutality? We do what all healers advise. The first step to healing is begin by stopping the pain. In this case that means we need to cast a vote. VOTE to bring back compassion and empathy. VOTE to heal our Nation, VOTE for respect for all people, people of color, LGBTQ, women and VOTE for the promise of, “life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness” for all Americans. There is no reason to endure four more years of pain, trauma and being disregarded by a First Family who wished they didn’t have to deal with us at all. Trump and his family may lack those triangles my Father told me about but the majority of us bear them proudly. That’s how I see it.

In light of the racial reckoning that is taking place in America and coming on the heels of the revelations about John Muir, I thought it was time to visit the role of land conservancy. For the second time in five years, conservationists have helped two Tribes in California regain some land. On the surface that sounds great – Native people getting their ancestral lands back. With all due respect, let’s look at look at how this played out in Sonoma County when then-Tribal Chairman Reno Franklin joined with the County of Sonoma and The Trust for Public Land. The 688-acre parcel was described as being “gifted” back to the Kashia Tribe, but in actuality it was sold by the Richardson Family, who accepted an offer of $6 million dollars; $500,000 came from the Tribe. This is a beautiful piece of the California Coast with scenic Highway One meandering in front of it. Unlike most Tribal land, there are no markers or signs that declare it Kashia land. Looking into the details of the land exchange document of June 2015 by the Coastal Conservancy entitled “Richardson Kashia Acquisition and California Coastal Trail Extension – Project No. 15-011-01”, you will find that there are so many restrictions put on the land by the conservationists that the Tribe can do little more than assign pathways. The project summary clearly spells out that the land can’t be used for economic development or for housing, something many Kashia residents would like, especially because it looks out over the Pacific, and is part of their ancestral lands To the North and South, white people have large developments with private access to fields and common areas. No chance for the Kashia to do this. There can be no development, no lodging to help with economic development but there will be walking trails and local native plants will bear signage attributing them with Kashia names and uses. Some Kashia citizens say, “We just wave at it as we drive by.” A similar land return just occurred in Monterey. This time the Esselen Tribe is the recipient of land also imbued with many restrictions. The Los Angeles Times reported, “A $4.5 million land deal, brokered by Portland-based environmental group Western Rivers Conservancy, will return a 1,199-acre parcel of wilderness along the Little Sur River to the tribe in the name of conservation and cultural resilience. The transfer will mark the first land returned to the Esselen since they were displaced centuries ago.” The Esselen Tribe is not a federally recognized Tribe, however, their non-profit organization will hold the land in fee for the Tribal members and they will have to follow a management program to keep the land. The Tribe announced that they will build altars, a community house and hope to rebury their ancestors. If these organizations can raise the amount of money they’ve demonstrated so far, I think it’s time to help Native communities invest in lands that will benefit future generations and not be small tokens of Indian islands with little hope for economic development. It’s time to let Native people decide what they want to do with their traditional lands, especially in a state where genocide was the official policy of the United States government. In theory, conservationists helping Indians get land back seems like a good idea but to this Indian it looks like another form of colonization. In fairness, the Kashia in Sonoma County will be granted access to a section of the coast for the tradition of gathering seaweed. That’s mighty White of those folks. The paternalistic attitudes imbued in these land agreements keep Tribes hands tied behind their backs without offering any equity by treating Tribes as Sovereign Nations. While ceremonies and other cultural practices are vital to Tribes and Native communities, so is the ability of a Tribe to take care their people. Health care, education, housing and jobs are all a part of being a Sovereign Nation. Partnerships and alliances are needed. Why not begin a new era that includes the leadership of Tribal members on these boards? How about respecting and supporting the rights’ of Sovereign Nations to decide what is best for their future? In the “land of the free and home of the brave,” it’s the least conservationists can do.

Now that Elizabeth Warren has thrown her hat into the ring exploring a run for the Presidency. It’s time to put an end to this frenzy about Elizabeth Warren’s DNA. This a non story. One’s ancestry, or DNA is simply a part of the past. Heritage and culture are completely different. Senator Warren knows the difference. Fact One: Elizabeth Warren does not represent Native Americans but she is a good Ally. She does not claim to be Cherokee or Delaware, only some ancestry on her mother's side. So get over it. Fact Two - A History lesson - Those not from Oklahoma or with little knowledge of Indian Territory, (IT), where there are 40+- tribes and only one rez, may not understand the complicated multiple and mixed ancestries of people born there or who were removed from their homelands to there. Oklahoma sits at a crossing point in the US. People traveled from North to South and East to West. The Chisholm trail ran through Indian Territory. Many South eastern Tribes also had mixed with Irish and Scottish while in the Southeast before being forcibly moved to Indian Territory, later known as Oklahoma. Fact Three - Elizabeth Warren's Grandparent's owned a hardware store in the tiny town of Wetumpka, mainly a Mvskoke (my tribe) area but other tribes also lived in the area. Many Mvskoke people alive today remember that store, their parents and grandparents bought things there, and some people remember little Elizabeth (Betsey) playing there as a child. Neither she nor her family claimed or tried to be Cherokee, or Mvskoke or any other tribe, but many knew her that mother's side of the family had some Native ancestry somewhere. The “mainstream media” have invested a lot of time sharing opinions of “Indians and their experts. Those who fall into this trap of pretending to represent all Indians without any true knowledge of the facts or the complexities of relationships and ancestry are much worse.

As I write this, there’s just a little under 40 hours left in 2018. I’m finding myself in a place of mindful reflections along with a dose of senior memory lapses. That is a mix I find myself in more and more but it seems common enough based on the number of fragmented conversations I’ve had lately. Today I’ve posted several articles from news opinionators across a spectrum. I’m avoiding howling about the incompetent, amoral person occupying the White House. What we are going to do about this in 2019 is more important. • We the people , must save our democracy from this kakistocracy. • We the people need to bring up strong healthy children who understand that we’re all just hurtling through space on planet. There is no “Planet B”. • We the people need to feed the hungry. • We the people need to reach out to each other. • We the people need to improve our education systems. • We the people need to expand critical thinking. • We the people must learn to listen deeply to each other. • We the people must preserve our cultures and languages. • We the people must prevail over darkness and tyranny. • We the people must not fear. • We the people must get stronger. • We the people must respect each other. Our elders knew the answers, and our future depends on the youth. Those of you in the middle have choices to make; giving in to fear and burying your heads in the sand isn’t one of them. I look forward to crossing paths with you in 2019! Mvto,my relatives!

As I prepare to ship my audio files to UCSB to be archived I revisit the past 40 years of my life.

Three days of interviewing, reflections on our time at the IEN Conference. Reuniting with colleagues, allies and making new connections.